Am I THAT insecure ?

Hey bloggers , so my last post was how I promised I would be going back to the gym and so I did. I was rather excited to go for  a little workout especially since it had been so long and I usually feel bad if I eat a lot of junk food and just stay at home on the sofa. When I got to the gym I realised a lot of new faces around and they were rather young to,I’d say around 16-18 at the most but that’s fine anyone can go to the gym, doesn’t bother me at all right? Hmm maybe it did just a bit. I went to what I call the “abs section” which is basically an area with the mats and medicine balls and this area is literally next to some machines for the chest area. The group of young lads were all around this area using the machines and I was just there on the mat not being able to concentrate on my workout or even do it properly because I was so conscious of them being there. I just kept telling myself “Why should I care what they think of me or how I’m doing my workouts?”. Although that is easier said than done,this all did bother me as I was in such a good mood wanting to have a good workout and suddenly it all went down hill,I got up from the mat and just moved to another area of the gym where I felt more comfortable whereas in that area I kept looking down not wanting to lift my head up and I even turned down the volume on my music just in case I overheard a comment or even if they could hear my music and that might make them judge me even more.

I know I have always been insecure,not liking how I look and basically having low self-esteem. Lets just say on my Facebook profile you won’t find any pictures of me in front of a mirror doing a pose,not that I find anything wrong with that.If you are confident with yourself you should do it after all, do what you think is right and each to their own. I admire those who can take those pictures and actually look good in them. Thinking on what has happened I have become slightly more judgemental on myself which is against what I believe in. I’m not one to add this fake persona for the world to see, I am me and that is it really. I know everyone has some sort of insecurity,even those people who act like if they love themselves and nothing can break them down.

Wait a second … Maybe my insecurities were making me a bit paranoid and hyped up everything that was going on ? Maybe they weren’t taking a notice of me and if they were, Would their opinion of me affect my life in any way?. I think we are all craving social acceptance especially when we are in situations like having a workout and having groups of people next to you which might leave you a bit vulnerable. Maybe I should apply more of what I believe into my life, maybe I should become more accepting of who I am and not let judgements affect me. So here I will say ” I know I’m not the guy with the dreamy abs or bulging biceps but that is me”. Tomorrow I will head to the gym again and if it were to happen again all I can do is try my best not to let it affect me.

Thank you readers and I apologise if I ranted on a bit.

Are you insecure about yourself? Try to come out of it,whoever puts you down should not have a place in your heart or life! Time is precious and we should spend it with those who love us for who we are. Be better be you :)

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About Paul

ill rather keep my identy private for now :)

Posted on March 12, 2013, in confidence and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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